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Posted by EDS on January 27, 2008, 12:21 pm
>
>
> EDS wrote:
>
>>"
>>
>>Really? My wife is seriously into knitting and fibers. How come a package
>>from Ontario takes a week to get here (6 days to the border) while a
>>package from Australia, UK, or China takes 3 days maximum? This is not
>>just a one time happening, but quite frequent. The Canadian senders also
>>complain about their service. I like Canada but would not brag about the
>>postal service.
>>EDS
>
> I stayed in Canada for a period. Gotta agree with you on the postal
> system plus it is rather expensive, comparatively speaking.
>
> By the way, it was very touching your sharing your experience with your
> daughter. May her memory be eternal and may she commune with the
> righteous!
> One time when I was pregnant, pretty far along, I lived in a condo
> townhouse across from its mirror image where another woman was pregnant.
> I lived with my little family and a gerbil and she lived with a drug
> dealer. One time, with about a month to go, I was looking out the picture
> window in the kitchen/dining room while munching on an apple. She was
> standing at the window , too, looking out and eating an apple as well.
> She patted her immense tummy and I patted mine and we did a funny little
> pantomime where we would mimic each other's movements, for example, I
> would raise the apple in my hand as if it were a power salute. She would
> do the same in reverse. She would hop. I would hop. I would bend at the
> waist. She would bend at the waist. I would step sideways...an so on.
> She held out her fingers to let me know she was 8 months pregnant. I
> nodded and also held out eight the same way, tucking my thumbs in, which
> was bright of her as seeing the individual fingers might have been
> difficult across the divide between the windows. The pure joy at such a
> stupid thing as that pantomime!
>
> I saw her once more after that, doing what she often did, serving dinner
> to hubby or boyfriend or whoever and showing him some affection, something
> he never showed her. He more or less soaked it up but did nothing in
> return. You could see but not hear him yelling at her. You could imagine
> that nothing she did was ever accounted worthy enough to return her
> affection from what was seen. One day he slapped her and I saw her
> cowering. Then he lowered the blinds so no one could see what was going
> on. Because the phone was on the wall in that room and visible, I went to
> anotehr room to call the police who I also begged not to show up at my
> house as I didn't want to be a target myself, and I also called a neighbor
> who called. When the police got back with me they said that they found her
> hung on a hook in the closet with the hook into her body. He had shoved
> her onto the hook somehowand beaten her black and ble besides. He had
> done other things as well, and she died. There were drugs all over the
> place, even in the toilet tank, reportedly.
>
> I had intervened but too late. I had not really known how bad it was.
> Now, if I only suspect something has gone wrong, I call and say exactly
> that to someone that might effect change. At the least, I offer a safe
> place or to call or to write or to help articulate or to give a shoulder
> or a hug. I feel in society, however large you conceive that society to
> be, that if you do not engage against atrocities, you engender them,
> whether in a nuclear relationship or a village or some insittution or
> something larger.
> You , too, tried to do what you could for your daughter. Sometimes strong
> women think they can endure for a while until things get better, or that
> they can even effect change in their relationship, often counting some way
> on the amount of time already invested in the relationship. Some women
> count on what they hope is a natural respect for women in men, or that
> things will just magically get better if only they do this or that or the
> other thing. Whatever places a woman in danger (or the rare case of a man
> abused), that danger can only be defused and that woman helped only by
> action. I have noticed that bullies quickly stop their bullying once
> someone is able to actively intervene.
>
> How frightened you must have been for your daughter trying to help her out
> of her too common situation! I wish for you to remember the bright and
> lovely and living moments you shared with her and not what she had to
> endure. But if she had one last thought, it must have been of her loving
> parents.
> .
Thanks. Yours was a very rough story, but all too common. I have never
understood where men like that come from. I hope the guy was permanently put
away. Our Hester was a great person, 6 feet tall, slender, with a great
smile and gift of the gab, but poor choice of men. She had phoned my wife an
hour before it happened, to tell us that she was coming home. She had
already sent her 3 dogs, who we still have. She was in a coma for 10 days.
When we were told what had happened, I was on a plane within 4 hours and at
the hospital about 7 hours later. I rushed to her room where they were
giving her an EEG (?) and shouted her name. The flat line jumped, but for
the last time. We were at her bedside for the next 9 days until it was
determined that she was brain dead.
EDS
>>
>>
>
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