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Posted by Chuck News on January 6, 2008, 4:03 am
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> "Warm Worm"> wrote
>>>>>> Seriously, though, lately, I've begun to casually question whether
>>>>>> "better-looking" or "attractive" is necessarily actually better,
>>>>>> desireable or attractive, or what we mean by it. For example, some
>>>>>> faces that some might consider as "less attractive" can be some of
>>>>>> the more interesting or intriguing, hence, attractive, to me...
>>>>>> Naturally, then there's personality, form, movement, poise,
>>>>>> intelligence, style, habits, creativity, depth, etc...
>>>>>> There are some women that just move in certain ways that I prefer,
>>>>>> for example.
>>>>>
>>>>> Yeah well, live with one for a few decades and you'll find out that
>>>>> little things have a tendency to grow on you, both negatively and
>>>>> positively.
>>>>> Sort of like financial interest.
>>>>> Not only is love blind but its stupid too.
>>>>
>>>> Even in my relatively short relationships, I've noticed that... but I
>>>> think I'd feel the same way with someone who was perfectly suited to
>>>> me... It's a bit like the idea of sitting down when you're tired;
>>>> after awhile of doing that, you feel the need to get back up. So I
>>>> doubt it's so much love being stupid as being realistic. :)
>>>> Unsure it's true, but I've heard that, at least in general, humans
>>>> are naturally polygamous (if that's the right word), and so a
>>>> lifelong mate seems to go a little against that. Despite that, the
>>>> idea of settling down with someone for a longer while is very
>>>> appealing.
>>>
>>> Its definately got its pluses.
>>> Once you get past the superficial stuff the real stuff becomes
>>> apparent. Trust, honesty, reliability, you know, all that stuff that
>>> doesn't occur immediately in a relationship but its the stuff that
>>> binds and lasts. I don't know about anybody else but for me it was
>>> always the unwillingness to hurt my wife that has kept me from
>>> wandering, when I had every right to do just that.
>>
>> Yup. There is a certain look of disappointment and hurt that is far, far
>> worse then being beaten with sticks.
>
> I'm huge on *trust*.
> Truth and trust are everything as far as I'm concerned.
> Everything else takes a back seat.
> If someone steals my stuff, I or they can replace that.
> But when trust is stolen it is gone forever.
> As far as I'm concerned that forgive and forget stuff is a crock.
> I don't forgive or forget anything, ever.
> Thats just the way it is, I'm flawed that way.
> To the best of my knowledge my wife has never violated my trust nor I
> hers.
> That is of paramount importance and too few people recognize it.
>
>>> A relationship takes a long time to cultivate, no two people are
>>> perfect for each other, and if they really care for each other and the
>>> bigger picture, some amazing things can happen.
>>> If you wait around for the perfect person you'll end up bitter and
>>> old, and lonely cause there is no such thing.
>>> A successful relationship consists of two imperfect people working
>>> side by side in an imperfect world striving for some solace and
>>> balance. It takes differences and commonalities to make it work.
>>
>> True, and well-said.
>>
>>> From what I've read the 30 second attention span generations can't
>>> wait that long so they bail and wreck another life.
>>
>> I think it's related to the delusion that external things "make" one
>> happy. In which case, other people are also seen as things. A "hot
>> babe" is little diferent from "a hot car"; a "rich husband" ias like "a
>> diamond necklace" - things, adornments, externals.
>
> I see these chix running around and I have the same urges as anyone else
> and I could prolly be quite successful in that regard.
> But I've spent decades building something here, a life, 2 lives really,
> and there is no way in hell I will ever throw that away.
> Money?
> Who needs it.
> Stuff?
> Can always get more stuff.
> But a relationship based in trust and nutured daily for decades is a very
> rare and valuable thing to have.
> That value grows exponentially every single day and its a value many
> people don't stick with long enough to even realize it exists.
>
>> Ego is a blindfold, preventing us from seeing even ourselves. Bedazzled
>> by our own imagined brilliance, we are blinded to all else, even to Life
>> itself.
>
> All those things you mentioned, jewelry, fancy rides, and things, remind
> of the highly ornate birds in the amazon forest that have exotic plumage
> and dance marathons to attract a mate.
> I've never worn jewelry, not even a watch or wedding ring and my wife
> doesn't either, in fact recently she even stopped wearing her wedding ring
> as she doesn't want to mess it up with all the garden stuff she's been
> into since moving to ruralville. She doesn't even have pierced ears!!!!
> gasp! LOL
> When you take away all the jewelry, makeup, fancy clothes and cars you're
> left with the plain canvas and thats where the root of the thing is.
> If the canvas isn't acceptable than all the adornment in the world won't
> make a difference.
>
>> INteresting poem, BTW:
>>
>>>
>>> We are secrets to each other
>>> Each one's life a novel
>>> No-one else has read.
>>> Even joined in bonds of love,
>>> We're linked to one another
>>> By such slender threads.
>>>
>>> We are planets to each other,
>>> Drifting in our orbits
>>> To a brief eclipse.
>>> Each of us a world apart,
>>> Alone and yet together,
>>> Like two passing ships.
>>>
>>> We are strangers to each other,
>>> Full of sliding panels,
>>> An illusion show.
>>> Acting well-rehearsed routines
>>> Or playing from the heart?
>>> It's hard for one to know.
>>>
>>> We are islands to each other,
>>> Building hopeful bridges
>>> On a troubled sea.
>>> Some are burned or swept away,
>>> Some we would not choose,
>>> But we're not always free.
>>>
>>> Just between us,
>>> I think it's time for us to recognize
>>> The differences we sometimes fear to show.
>>> Just between us,
>>> I think it's time for us to realize
>>> The spaces in between
>>> Leave room for you and I to grow.
>>>
>>> ++++++++++++++++
>>>
>>> Like a million little doorways
>>> All the choices we made
>>> All the stages we passed through
>>> All the roles we played
>>>
>>> For so many different directions
>>> Our separate paths might have turned
>>> With every door that we opened
>>> Every bridge that we burned
>>>
>>> Somehow we find each other
>>> Through all that masquerade
>>> Somehow we found each other
>>> Somehow we have stayed
>>> In a state of grace
>>>
>>> Like a million little crossroads
>>> Through the back streets of youth
>>> Each time we turn a new corner
>>> A tiny moment of truth
>>>
>>> For so many different connections
>>> Our separate paths might have made
>>> With every door that we opened
>>> Every game we played
>>>
>>> Somehow we find each other
>>> Through all that masquerade
>>> Somehow we found each other
>>> Somehow we have stayed
>>> In a state of grace
>>>
>>> I don't believe in destiny
>>> Or the guiding hand of fate
>>> I don't believe in forever
>>> Or love as a mystical state
>>> I don't believe in the stars or the planets
>>> Or angels watching from above
>>> But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
>>> And make it last...
>>>
Don;
I agree with you. My wife and I have lived with "truth and trust as
everything" going on 44 years of marriage and it works.
Oh, and we also love each other.
CID...
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