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Posted by Joseph on October 13, 2007, 12:42 am
Are you Gay?
Here are a few clues...
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It
means you
haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your
free
time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat,
you are
a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, butgay-- it grooms itself constantly but
never
scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines
to be
fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get
your
ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to
daddy,
snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on
lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you
are a
Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters,
crawfish
guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.Anything else and you are in training and
undeniably
a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot,
you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates
and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular
coffee. A
straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a
Decaf
Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too. 6. If you know more than
six
names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice
cream
and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't
have
memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
chartreuse
or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile
other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both
hands on
the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both
hands
on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of
the time
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his
beer. 8.
If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are
afraid
of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a
fudgepacker.
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Posted by Joseph on October 13, 2007, 12:49 am
Are you Gay?
Here are a few clues...
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It means
you
haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your
free
time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, butgay--
it
grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except
when
it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a
dog...
"Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how
you
call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be
framed,
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense,
rest
assured, you are a
Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters,
crawfish
guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.Anything else and you are in training and
undeniably
a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot,
you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates
and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A
straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a
Decaf
Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different
types of
dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass
passes. A real man doesn't have
memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
chartreuse
or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile
other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on
the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both
hands
on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of
the
time
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his
beer.
8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you
are
afraid
of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a
fudgepacker.
HTML???
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Posted by on October 13, 2007, 1:51 am
>
> Are you Gay?
>
> Here are a few clues...
>
> 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It
means you
> haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of
your free
> time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
>
> 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
butgay-- it
> grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when
> it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call
a dog...
> "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think
about how you
> call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to
be framed,
> you're so gay.
>
> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest
> assured, you are a
> Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters,
crawfish
> guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.Anything else and you are in training
and undeniably
> a fag.
>
> 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot,
> you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom;
he defecates
> and urinates where he pleases.
>
> 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A
> straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've
put a Decaf
> Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
>
> 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
different types of
> dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out
free ass
> passes. A real man doesn't have
> memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick
out
> chartreuse
> or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type
of textile
> other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
>
> 7. If you drive with both hands on
> the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only
puts both hands
> on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The
rest of the
> time
> he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold
his beer.
>
>
> 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because
you are
> afraid
> of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a
> fudgepacker.
>
> HTML???
9. You're definately gay, if you post the same thing twice. :-)
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Posted by Joseph on October 13, 2007, 5:05 pm
>
>>
>> Are you Gay?
>>
>> Here are a few clues...
>>
>> 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It
> means you
>> haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of
> your free
>> time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
>>
>> 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
> butgay-- it
>> grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
> except when
>> it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call
> a dog...
>> "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think
> about how you
>> call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to
> be framed,
>> you're so gay.
>>
>> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
> nonsense, rest
>> assured, you are a
>> Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters,
> crawfish
>> guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.Anything else and you are in training
> and undeniably
>> a fag.
>>
>> 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
> lot,
>> you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom;
> he defecates
>> and urinates where he pleases.
>>
>> 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A
>> straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've
> put a Decaf
>> Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
>>
>> 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
> different types of
>> dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out
> free ass
>> passes. A real man doesn't have
>> memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick
> out
>> chartreuse
>> or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type
> of textile
>> other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
>>
>> 7. If you drive with both hands on
>> the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only
> puts both hands
>> on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The
> rest of the
>> time
>> he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold
> his beer.
>>
>>
>> 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because
> you are
>> afraid
>> of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a
>> fudgepacker.
>>
>> HTML???
>
>
> 9. You're definately gay, if you post the same thing twice. :-)
Thank You, Thank You Very Much... OXOXOXO :)
(first post came out scrambled on my end, I think it had HTML content in it)
>
>
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Posted by on October 13, 2007, 5:16 pm
wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Are you Gay?
>>>
>>> Here are a few clues...
>>>
>>> 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It
>> means you
>>> haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of
>> your free
>>> time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
>>>
>>> 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
>> butgay-- it
>>> grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
>> except when
>>> it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call
>> a dog...
>>> "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think
>> about how you
>>> call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to
>> be framed,
>>> you're so gay.
>>>
>>> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
>> nonsense, rest
>>> assured, you are a
>>> Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters,
>> crawfish
>>> guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.Anything else and you are in training
>> and undeniably
>>> a fag.
>>>
>>> 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
>> lot,
>>> you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom;
>> he defecates
>>> and urinates where he pleases.
>>>
>>> 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A
>>> straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've
>> put a Decaf
>>> Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
>>>
>>> 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
>> different types of
>>> dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out
>> free ass
>>> passes. A real man doesn't have
>>> memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick
>> out
>>> chartreuse
>>> or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type
>> of textile
>>> other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
>>>
>>> 7. If you drive with both hands on
>>> the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only
>> puts both hands
>>> on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The
>> rest of the
>>> time
>>> he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold
>> his beer.
>>>
>>>
>>> 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because
>> you are
>>> afraid
>>> of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a
>>> fudgepacker.
>>>
>>> HTML???
>>
>>
>> 9. You're definately gay, if you post the same thing twice. :-)
>
> Thank You, Thank You Very Much... OXOXOXO :)
>
>
> (first post came out scrambled on my end, I think it had HTML content in
it)
>
>
>>
>>
>
Oh - and if you have EVER ended a Usenet post with 'XOXOXOX'
........
Oh, shit, what have I done ????
--
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Paul ( pjm @ pobox . com ) - remove spaces to email me
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