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Posted by on July 25, 2006, 2:46 pm
I Tripped On My Penis - Who Do I Sue?
I am just starting to recover form the terrible incident I had last
week.
This all started last October when I got one of those spam type emails
telling me I could enlarge my penis. Immediately I tossed it in my
trash bin. Later on that day I was missing an email from a friend
when I decided to look in my trash bin. There was that penis
enlargement spam all by itself. Just for the heck of it, I opened it
and started to read it. This sounded good. It was not the usual
spam, but a method that sounded reasonable, affordable, and easy. I
decided to apply. I sent in my payment and started to follow the
plan. I was skeptical at first, but soon my penis began to grow.
First an inch, then 6 inches, then a foot, and well, I began to worry
that it might be getting too long so I called the company. They told
me that if I was satisfied with the results that I should stop using
their methods and just enjoy my huge penis for the rest of my life. I
thanked them, and stopped their methods.
But something went wrong. Even after stopping, my penis continued to
grow, reaching over six feet in length. I called the company again
and only got a recorded message saying their offices were temporarily
closed for Christmas vacation. Christmas came and went, as well as
New Years, and I have since called them at least a dozen more times
and continued to get that recording.
Last week I was shopping in the downtown mall when all of a sudden my
pants zipper broke from the weight of my now seven foot penis. Out it
flew, dragging on the floor next to me. I desperately tried to shove
it down my pants leg, to no avail. Then I tried to push it under my
coat, hoping I could cover it long enough to get to the restroom. I
began to struggle as the sweat poured down my face from all the stress
of the situation. That instant I saw the store security running
toward me. I began to run myself hoping I could get into the restroom
before they caught up with me. Thats when the accident happened. My
entire penis popped out of my pants while I was running and I tripped
on it, and fell to the floor landing on my arm and face. I struggled
to get up but to no avail. I knew my arm was broken and my head was
throbbing in pain. The store security started to rough me up, and
immediately put me in handcuffs. I screamed from pain. but they
continued to beat me and kick me, telling me I was under arrest. Then
one of them tossed a blanket over me to cover my fully exposed penis.
I must have told them ten or more times that my arm was broke before
they finally called an ambulance.
In the end, I had a severely fractured arm, a brain concussion, and am
being charged with indecent exposure, carrying a deadly weapon (my
penis), resisting arrest, and several other charges which I am not
sure what they are yet. I spent the last week in the hospital in
severe pain. I have had to deal with law enforcement who insisted I
be transferred to jail as soon as I was released from the hospital.
Fortunately my doctor contacted my brother who came and posted my
bail.
I am finally home, and my penis is now eight and one half feet long,
and continues to grow. My arm is in a cast, and I face jail time for
the store incident.
In the morning I am calling my lawyer and intend to file my own
charges. But who should I sue? First, I plan to sue the company that
sold me the penis enlarging plan. (If I can locate them). Then I am
considering suing the store security for assault, and for not
providing me with immediate medical care. However the store is
partially at fault for having slippery floors, and the manufacturer of
my pants should be held accountable for not making their zippers
strong enough.
This has been a horrible ordeal, and it's not over yet. My medical
bills alone will bankrupt me, and then the legal charges.
Who would you all sue in this matter?
John
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Posted by unknown on July 25, 2006, 6:01 pm
On Tue, 25 Jul 2006 13:46:12 -0500, john______@hotmail.com wrote:
>I Tripped On My Penis - Who Do I Sue?
>
>I am just starting to recover form the terrible incident I had last
>week.
>
[snip]
>Who would you all sue in this matter?
>
>John
>
You sue yourself. Then sue your lawyer.
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Posted by Al Bundy on July 26, 2006, 12:21 am
4ax.com:
> Who would you all sue in this matter?
Who would take your case? You are nothing but a self proclaimed big dick.
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