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Posted by Red Green on July 6, 2008, 12:12 am
4ax.com:
> I am having a problem. It's the 4th of July and we got company
> coming. All our relatives and friends are coming this evening to get
> drunk and eat while the kids shoot off fireworks. Yesterday my
> husband bought all the beer booze fireworks and food. On the way home
> his steering wheel came off and he had to get toed home. Then last
> night the wind blew off our front door and a tree fell on our picnic
> table. He plans to have the door, table and car fixed by the time
> everyone comes.
>
> I just started to make some jello that the recipe says to add some
> cream. We dont have no cream. When I asked my hubby to go to the
> store he got all pissed. He said "I cant drive the goddamn car, and I
> cant fix the fu**ing house and go to the store at the same time".
> Then he asked me what kind of cream it says. I told him it says "add
> cream". He told me to go to the bathroom and get some of his shaving
> cream, and said that will work fine and after everyone starts drinking
> they wont even know.
>
> Is he right? Can I use shaving cream in the jello?
> One other question. He's been drinking all night and it looks like he
> is putting the door upside down because the window is on the bottom.
> Does that matter? I dont want to say anything about it because he is
> real grumpy today. He'll be better after he gets drunk.
>
> Judy S.
>
> PS, If anyone needs any Amway stuff, let me know.
Dear Judy:
Sure go ahead and use shaving cream. It's like baking soda and has many
uses. It should purge his colon pretty good too as a bonus.
> ... putting the door upside down because the window is on the bottom.
> Does that matter?
Think about it Judy. If he is laying on the ground drunk in front of the
door looking up at it, what the hells the difference which way it's on.
In the morning when he is all hung over and his stomach is as stable as
Louis Farrakhan, give him a nice tall glass of orange juice. That should
settle him like putting baking soda in vinegar with about the same
reaction (see, I told you baking soda has many uses).
Just concerned for your loved ones,
Red...
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