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Posted by on September 14, 2006, 10:39 pm
If you are a woman, please stop reading this message now. This is a
mans message.
Ok men, if your penis was a wooden board, what would it be?
Would it be a 2 inch piece of quarter inch dowel, a 6 foot 2x4, a 12
inch piece of fancy molding, a scrap of furring strip, a 16 foot 8x8
post, a 4x8 sheet of 3/4" plywood, or maybe just the rough trunk of a
raw oak tree about 40 inches in diameter. Or maybe or something else.
Is your woody a hard wood or soft wood? Fresh or kiln dried? Treated
or natural? Is it warped or straight? It might even look like a piece
of particle board if you got freckles. Does your penis have a fine
finish, coat of paint, or is it raw? Planed or rough hewn? Laminated
or solid. Clean or dirty? Weathered or fresh as a daisy? Please
evaluate your penis compared to wood dimensions, type of wood,
coatings, texture, and appearance.Remember, some boards are painted on
the ends. Do you paint the end of your penis too? What color? This
is all very important, so please take your time when you consider all
the possiblities. Do not rush into this blindly. This is very
important and may someday be used to identify your penis if you run
into the wrong woman and she removes your favorite tool while you are
asleep. (This has happened). Then too, a future employer may someday
ask you these questions, and getting or losing a job opportunity may
balance upon your answer. One final note, some boards contain nails,
screws, brackets, caulk, glue, and more. These are optional, but your
penis may have some too. If so, remember some are rusty, others are
shiny, some are sticky, others are driven into the material. Some
were inserted with a screwdriver, a hammer, a nail gun, a caulking gun
or a welder. What do you have? If you're not sure, ask your wife !!!
Caulk Soaker
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Posted by on September 15, 2006, 3:38 pm
On Thu, 14 Sep 2006 21:39:35 -0500, CaulkSoaker@alt.home.repair.com
wrote:
>If you are a woman, please stop reading this message now. This is a
>mans message.
>
>Ok men, if your penis was a wooden board, what would it be?
>Would it be a 2 inch piece of quarter inch dowel, a 6 foot 2x4, a 12
>inch piece of fancy molding, a scrap of furring strip, a 16 foot 8x8
>post, a 4x8 sheet of 3/4" plywood, or maybe just the rough trunk of a
>raw oak tree about 40 inches in diameter. Or maybe or something else.
>Is your woody a hard wood or soft wood? Fresh or kiln dried? Treated
>or natural? Is it warped or straight? It might even look like a piece
>of particle board if you got freckles. Does your penis have a fine
>finish, coat of paint, or is it raw? Planed or rough hewn? Laminated
>or solid. Clean or dirty? Weathered or fresh as a daisy? Please
>evaluate your penis compared to wood dimensions, type of wood,
>coatings, texture, and appearance.Remember, some boards are painted on
>the ends. Do you paint the end of your penis too? What color? This
>is all very important, so please take your time when you consider all
>the possiblities. Do not rush into this blindly. This is very
>important and may someday be used to identify your penis if you run
>into the wrong woman and she removes your favorite tool while you are
>asleep. (This has happened). Then too, a future employer may someday
>ask you these questions, and getting or losing a job opportunity may
>balance upon your answer. One final note, some boards contain nails,
>screws, brackets, caulk, glue, and more. These are optional, but your
>penis may have some too. If so, remember some are rusty, others are
>shiny, some are sticky, others are driven into the material. Some
>were inserted with a screwdriver, a hammer, a nail gun, a caulking gun
>or a welder. What do you have? If you're not sure, ask your wife !!!
>
>Caulk Soaker
Mine is a 40 foot HARDwood power pole with a nice smooth finish.
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Posted by on September 15, 2006, 4:08 pm
CaulkSoaker@alt.home.repair.com wrote:
> If you are a woman, please stop reading this message now. This is a
> mans message.
>
> Ok men, if your penis was a wooden board, what would it be?
> Would it be a 2 inch piece of quarter inch dowel, a 6 foot 2x4, a 12
> inch piece of fancy molding, a scrap of furring strip, a 16 foot 8x8
> post, a 4x8 sheet of 3/4" plywood, or maybe just the rough trunk of a
> raw oak tree about 40 inches in diameter. Or maybe or something else.
> Is your woody a hard wood or soft wood? Fresh or kiln dried? Treated
> or natural? Is it warped or straight? It might even look like a piece
> of particle board if you got freckles. Does your penis have a fine
> finish, coat of paint, or is it raw? Planed or rough hewn? Laminated
> or solid. Clean or dirty? Weathered or fresh as a daisy? Please
> evaluate your penis compared to wood dimensions, type of wood,
> coatings, texture, and appearance.Remember, some boards are painted on
> the ends. Do you paint the end of your penis too? What color? This
> is all very important, so please take your time when you consider all
> the possiblities. Do not rush into this blindly. This is very
> important and may someday be used to identify your penis if you run
> into the wrong woman and she removes your favorite tool while you are
> asleep. (This has happened). Then too, a future employer may someday
> ask you these questions, and getting or losing a job opportunity may
> balance upon your answer. One final note, some boards contain nails,
> screws, brackets, caulk, glue, and more. These are optional, but your
> penis may have some too. If so, remember some are rusty, others are
> shiny, some are sticky, others are driven into the material. Some
> were inserted with a screwdriver, a hammer, a nail gun, a caulking gun
> or a welder. What do you have? If you're not sure, ask your wife !!!
>
> Caulk Soaker
1) have you registered yourself yet with the authorities?
2) Mine might be like on on this page.
http://www.wilsons-arcsalve.com/beams.htm
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Posted by on September 15, 2006, 11:06 pm
On 15 Sep 2006 13:08:12 -0700, sonofabitchsky@hotmail.com wrote:
>
>CaulkSoaker@alt.home.repair.com wrote:
>> If you are a woman, please stop reading this message now. This is a
>> mans message.
>>
>> Ok men, if your penis was a wooden board, what would it be?
>> Would it be a 2 inch piece of quarter inch dowel, a 6 foot 2x4, a 12
>> inch piece of fancy molding, a scrap of furring strip, a 16 foot 8x8
>> post, a 4x8 sheet of 3/4" plywood, or maybe just the rough trunk of a
>> raw oak tree about 40 inches in diameter. Or maybe or something else.
>> Is your woody a hard wood or soft wood? Fresh or kiln dried? Treated
>> or natural? Is it warped or straight? It might even look like a piece
>> of particle board if you got freckles. Does your penis have a fine
>> finish, coat of paint, or is it raw? Planed or rough hewn? Laminated
>> or solid. Clean or dirty? Weathered or fresh as a daisy? Please
>> evaluate your penis compared to wood dimensions, type of wood,
>> coatings, texture, and appearance.Remember, some boards are painted on
>> the ends. Do you paint the end of your penis too? What color? This
>> is all very important, so please take your time when you consider all
>> the possiblities. Do not rush into this blindly. This is very
>> important and may someday be used to identify your penis if you run
>> into the wrong woman and she removes your favorite tool while you are
>> asleep. (This has happened). Then too, a future employer may someday
>> ask you these questions, and getting or losing a job opportunity may
>> balance upon your answer. One final note, some boards contain nails,
>> screws, brackets, caulk, glue, and more. These are optional, but your
>> penis may have some too. If so, remember some are rusty, others are
>> shiny, some are sticky, others are driven into the material. Some
>> were inserted with a screwdriver, a hammer, a nail gun, a caulking gun
>> or a welder. What do you have? If you're not sure, ask your wife !!!
>>
>> Caulk Soaker
>
>1) have you registered yourself yet with the authorities?
>2) Mine might be like on on this page.
>http://www.wilsons-arcsalve.com/beams.htm
Wow, you must be really old !!!!!
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Posted by Al Bundy on September 16, 2006, 9:40 pm
CaulkSoaker@alt.home.repair.com wrote in
<snip>
>
> Caulk Soaker
>
Weeping willow.
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