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Posted by HeyBub on October 10, 2009, 4:47 pm
A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
--- begin quote
Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential
for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional
improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age
appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by
Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers
properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim
in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still
functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at
request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
inspect before entering into a contract.
This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper,
gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her
career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater,
live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending
time with family & friends.
Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will
be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough
to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty,
possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend &
family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted,
but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker
or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be
reviewed & considered upon request.
Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment
opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
(*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their
kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the
subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to
invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
--- end quote
I'm going shopping.
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Posted by LouB on October 10, 2009, 5:03 pm
HeyBub wrote:
> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
>
> --- begin quote
>
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential
> for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional
> improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age
> appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by
> Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers
> properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim
> in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still
> functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at
> request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
> inspect before entering into a contract.
>
>
> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper,
> gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her
> career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater,
> live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending
> time with family & friends.
>
> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will
> be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough
> to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty,
> possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend &
> family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted,
> but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker
> or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be
> reviewed & considered upon request.
>
> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment
> opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>
> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their
> kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the
> subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
>
> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to
> invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
>
> --- end quote
>
> I'm going shopping.
>
>
Excellent!
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Posted by Doug Miller on October 10, 2009, 5:19 pm
>A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
>--- begin quote
>Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential
>for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional
>improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age
>appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by
>Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers
>properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim
>in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still
>functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at
>request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>inspect before entering into a contract.
>This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper,
>gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her
>career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater,
>live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending
>time with family & friends.
>Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will
>be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough
>to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty,
>possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend &
>family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted,
>but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker
>or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be
>reviewed & considered upon request.
>Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment
>opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>(*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their
>kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the
>subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
>UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to
>invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
>--- end quote
>I'm going shopping.
Thought you were Jewish...?
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Posted by HeyBub on October 10, 2009, 6:32 pm
Doug Miller wrote:
>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>> access:
>> --- begin quote
>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
>> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
>> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
>> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
>> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
>> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>> inspect before entering into a contract.
>> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook,
>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
>> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
>> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
>> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
>> friends.
>> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
>> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
>> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
>> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
>> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
>> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
>> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
>> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
>> will be reviewed & considered upon request.
>> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this
>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
>> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
>> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
>> family & friends.
>> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best
>> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
>> you'll ever know.
>> --- end quote
>> I'm going shopping.
> Thought you were Jewish...?
Bless 'em all,
Bless 'em all,
The long and the short and the tall...
You'll get no promotion,
This side of the ocean,
Bless 'em all, bless 'em all, bless 'em all.
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Posted by norminn@earthlink.net on October 10, 2009, 5:28 pm
HeyBub wrote:
> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
>
> --- begin quote
>
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential
> for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional
> improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age
> appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by
> Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers
> properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim
> in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still
> functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at
> request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
> inspect before entering into a contract.
>
>
> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper,
> gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her
> career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater,
> live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending
> time with family & friends.
>
> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will
> be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough
> to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty,
> possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend &
> family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted,
> but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker
> or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be
> reviewed & considered upon request.
>
> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment
> opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>
> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their
> kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the
> subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
>
> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to
> invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
>
> --- end quote
>
> I'm going shopping.
>
>
"Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
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>
> --- begin quote
>
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential
> for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional
> improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age
> appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by
> Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers
> properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim
> in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still
> functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at
> request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
> inspect before entering into a contract.
>
>
> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper,
> gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her
> career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater,
> live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending
> time with family & friends.
>
> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will
> be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough
> to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty,
> possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend &
> family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted,
> but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker
> or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be
> reviewed & considered upon request.
>
> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment
> opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>
> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their
> kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the
> subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
>
> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to
> invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
>
> --- end quote
>
> I'm going shopping.
>
>