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Posted by HeyBub on October 10, 2009, 6:22 pm
norminn@earthlink.net wrote:
> HeyBub wrote:
>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>> access: --- begin quote
>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
>> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
>> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
>> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
>> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
>> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>> inspect before entering into a contract. This fine offering also comes
>> staffed with part-time cook,
>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
>> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
>> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
>> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
>> friends. Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
>> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
>> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
>> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
>> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
>> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
>> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
>> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
>> will be reviewed & considered upon request. Subject is low maintenance &
>> affordably priced. Don't miss this
>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
>> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
>> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
>> family & friends. UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well!
>> Possibly the best
>> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
>> you'll ever know. --- end quote
>> I'm going shopping.
> "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
> Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will have to
be plowed...
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Posted by norminn@earthlink.net on October 10, 2009, 6:36 pm
HeyBub wrote:
> norminn@earthlink.net wrote:
>> HeyBub wrote:
>>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>>> access: --- begin quote
>>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
>>> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
>>> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
>>> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
>>> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
>>> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>>> inspect before entering into a contract. This fine offering also comes
>>> staffed with part-time cook,
>>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
>>> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
>>> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
>>> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
>>> friends. Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
>>> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
>>> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
>>> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
>>> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
>>> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
>>> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
>>> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
>>> will be reviewed & considered upon request. Subject is low maintenance &
>>> affordably priced. Don't miss this
>>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
>>> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
>>> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
>>> family & friends. UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well!
>>> Possibly the best
>>> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
>>> you'll ever know. --- end quote
>>> I'm going shopping.
>> "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
>> Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
>
> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will have to
> be plowed...
>
>
Fixher upper, eh? Look out for termites and rusty plumbing...the
exterior can appear to be perfect, but the structure ready to collapse.
Wonder if it's been resided? :o)
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Posted by HeyBub on October 10, 2009, 8:06 pm
norminn@earthlink.net wrote:
>> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will
>> have to be plowed...
> Fixher upper, eh? Look out for termites and rusty plumbing...the
> exterior can appear to be perfect, but the structure ready to
> collapse. Wonder if it's been resided? :o)
Know what you mean, know what you mean. Here's one I saved from the old
austin.forsale newsgroup.
--- begin quote
I would like to procure one old oar. Free would be wonderful, but I'm
willing to pay a small amount' [I guess the guy was tired of rowing in
circles]
Reply:
You used to be able to find old oars at your neighborhood oar house, but the
city closed most of those years ago.
Your best bet, currently, is to check dark street corners in the early
evening.
Sometimes an old oar is painted over to make it look like a new oar. This
deception is easily detectable in strong light. You can also test for
old/new by taking a test stroke or two.
Unsuspecting oar seekers sometimes find themselves up a creek with paddle
instead of an oar. Be careful.
Good luck in your quest.
--- end quote
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Posted by norminn@earthlink.net on October 10, 2009, 8:51 pm
HeyBub wrote:
> norminn@earthlink.net wrote:
>>> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will
>>> have to be plowed...
>> Fixher upper, eh? Look out for termites and rusty plumbing...the
>> exterior can appear to be perfect, but the structure ready to
>> collapse. Wonder if it's been resided? :o)
>
> Know what you mean, know what you mean. Here's one I saved from the old
> austin.forsale newsgroup.
>
There is a woman who shops at the same grocery store that I shop at, and
she is truly scary.....below the neck, she appears to be about 85. She
must have had silicone injections to her gigantic, puffy lips (how in
hell can anyone DO THAT?) and has a "tight ponytail" facelift. Her
eyelids are almost vertical because they are pulled back so far. It
would be a lot easier, and less expensive, just to take down all the
mirrors. Save the money for a cruise when the doc says "better get yer
affairs in order". :o)
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Posted by in2dadark on October 10, 2009, 9:22 pm
norminn@earthlink.net wrote:
> Fixher upper, eh? Look out for termites and rusty plumbing...the
> exterior can appear to be perfect, but the structure ready to collapse.
> Wonder if it's been resided? :o)
-----------------------
Anything built before 1980 is too old to even consider.
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