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Posted by RicodJour on October 10, 2009, 6:41 pm
> norm...@earthlink.net wrote:
> > HeyBub wrote:
> >> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
> >> access: --- begin quote
> >> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
> >> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
> >> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
> >> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
> >> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
> >> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
> >> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
> >> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
> >> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
> >> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
> >> inspect before entering into a contract. This fine offering also comes
> >> staffed with part-time cook,
> >> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
> >> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
> >> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
> >> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
> >> friends. Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
> >> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
> >> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
> >> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
> >> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
> >> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
> >> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
> >> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
> >> will be reviewed & considered upon request. Subject is low maintenance=
&
> >> affordably priced. Don't miss this
> >> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
> >> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
> >> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
> >> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
> >> family & friends. UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well!
> >> Possibly the best
> >> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
> >> you'll ever know. --- end quote
> >> I'm going shopping.
> > "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
> > Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will have =
to
> be plowed...
You misread that. Read it again. Hint: The Man Above...
R
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Posted by aemeijers on October 10, 2009, 8:09 pm
norminn@earthlink.net wrote:
> HeyBub wrote:
>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>> access:
>> --- begin quote
>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted
>> for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning: lights come
>> on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening unless manually
>> controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning as intended. Sold
>> "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner.
>> Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly inspect before
>> entering into a contract.
>> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook,
>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still
>> maintain her career & will require time off for travel, occasional
>> fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church, lounging by the
>> pool or on the beach & spending time with family & friends.
>> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements:
>> Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit &
>> active enough to maintain the property in its present or improved
>> condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor & adventure, be
>> articulate, considered a friend & family man, a Christian. Indoor pets
>> (especially cats) not readily accepted, but will be considered on
>> case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker or a deal breaker.
>> Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be reviewed &
>> considered upon request.
>> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this
>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with
>> their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle
>> than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family &
>> friends.
>> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way
>> to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll
>> ever know.
>> --- end quote
>> I'm going shopping.
>
>
> "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
> Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
While I see the intended humor, I also see several red flags, starting
with the 'owned by'. Nobody should feel of themselves as 'owned by'
anybody. 2nd is stating that foundations were repaired by a deity-
indicates magical thinking. The partial renovations starting in 08 are
also a concern. I see strong self-image issues at play here. May all be
perfectly innocent, and simple overcompensation to being 'fired' from a
position they trained their entire early life for. (Unless previous
'owner' actually died or something.) But whoever answers the ad better
be prepared to carry lots and lots of baggage. The poster married too
young, probably right out of Daddy's house, and never learned to live on
their own. IMHO, nobody should marry until they have lived on their own
at least 2-3 years, so they know that they can. 'Low maintenance'? I
think not.
--
aem sends, sincerely wishing the ad poster all the best...
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Posted by HeyBub on October 10, 2009, 9:30 pm
aemeijers wrote:
Your observations are spot on.
> While I see the intended humor, I also see several red flags, starting
> with the 'owned by'. Nobody should feel of themselves as 'owned by'
> anybody.
I agree. A better choice of words would have been "occupied by"
> 2nd is stating that foundations were repaired by a deity-
> indicates magical thinking.
Um, a lot of people find strength in prayer. Even if it merely gives them
something to do while the hurt wears off.
> The partial renovations starting in 08 are
> also a concern. I see strong self-image issues at play here. May all
> be perfectly innocent, and simple overcompensation to being 'fired'
> from a position they trained their entire early life for. (Unless
> previous 'owner' actually died or something.)
When one experiences rejection or great loss, there's usually a sharp
decline in self esteem. Women are vain creatures anyway and feel much better
after a visit to the beauty salon. Imagine the lift to a female's ego with a
few minor tune-ups: face lift, breast implants, liposuction, lip
enhancement, tattooed eye-liner, calf augmentation, weight loss, French
nails, new do, some posh smocks, shoes, and accessories.
> But whoever answers the
> ad better be prepared to carry lots and lots of baggage. The poster
> married too young, probably right out of Daddy's house, and never
> learned to live on their own. IMHO, nobody should marry until they
> have lived on their own at least 2-3 years, so they know that they
> can.
Couldn't agree more.
> 'Low maintenance'? I think not.
Maybe. Maybe not. Her stating the alternative of "high maintenance" would
certainly be a non-starter.
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Posted by Ed Pawlowski on October 10, 2009, 10:53 pm
> While I see the intended humor, I also see several red flags, starting
> with the 'owned by'. Nobody should feel of themselves as 'owned by'
> anybody. 2nd is stating that foundations were repaired by a deity-
> indicates magical thinking. The partial renovations starting in 08 are
> also a concern. I see strong self-image issues at play here. May all be
> perfectly innocent, and simple overcompensation to being 'fired' from a
> position they trained their entire early life for. (Unless previous
> 'owner' actually died or something.) But whoever answers the ad better be
> prepared to carry lots and lots of baggage.
Agree with the above.
> The poster married too young, probably right out of Daddy's house, and
> never learned to live on their own. IMHO, nobody should marry until they
> have lived on their own at least 2-3 years, so they know that they can.
> 'Low maintenance'? I think not.
Don't agree in every case. I was 20, my wife was 19. Had a car paid for,
steady job, bought a house. That was 43+ years ago and would not change
anything.
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Posted by cshenk on October 10, 2009, 6:54 pm
"HeyBub" wrote
>A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
> --- begin quote
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition
> except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but
> expertly repaired by
(snips)
> --- end quote
> I'm going shopping.
LOL!
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